I had big plans scheduled for todays post but when it came time to put fingers to the keyboard, I just couldn’t find the right words. The truth is that I’m getting incredibly sentimental. Perhaps you had already gleaned that from my last Food is Good post where I professed my love for McDonalds and other foods that I’ll be missing over the next two years. Maybe you saw the giant ticker to the left and figured that by the time it exited the twenties, you’d start hearing sob stories.
Either way, I have only a week and a half before my bags will be packed and I’ll be saying goodbye to my pets, most of my possessions, and most importantly, my father. In just 18 days I will finish saying goodbye to the rest of my family, step foot on a plane, and take off on an incredible adventure. Don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly excited for this opportunity and love the prospect of a new beginning, but it will most definitely be bitter sweet.
Every time I hold my kitties or play fetch with the dog, I wonder if they will remember me whenever I get to see them again. I wonder if they will miss me or if they think that something happened to me or if I abandoned them. I know my parents and family will worry and I hope that in time, some sense of normality will set in to subside some of their anxiety. I am saddened by all that I am going to miss, my cousins baby crawling, saying his first words, his first laugh; my other cousins graduation; and all the birthdays and holidays that I can hopefully attend at least via FaceTime.
I think it can be easy to think of this adventure just in terms of personal growth but the truth is that everyone is always growing and changing and that when I come back, not only will I be different, so will everyone else. Everyone will be a bit older, a bit wiser, and a bit more independent. Yes, I will have a new degree, a new perspective on life and a clearer view of my future but that does not compare to the internal changes that is bound to occur.
I guess what I am trying to say is that everything changes and that I don’t think there are many people on this planet who are unafraid or unworried by it at some point. A long time ago I decided to embrace change and to let it be exhilarating instead of debilitating. That doesn’t mean that I am not sad or worried by this trip; I think sentimental is a great word to summarize my feelings. I’m looking back at all of my accomplishments and memories, looking presently at all my friends, family and animals that love me and acknowledging that things will change. Sentiment is a beautiful thing but so is adventure, progress and the pursuit of knowledge, self-improvement and happiness.